hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcriptsuper duty trans am for sale

Regal Not your typical stand up special, But special nonetheless! And then I drove home. We get in the Camry, were driving from Davis to Sacramento. Davis California.. In that moment, I let it go. After reflecting, here are 4 Leadership lessons I learned by watching Hasan Minhaj. Toys R Us. She laid down one of her cards for me. Last two names: Hasan Minhaj, Bethany Reed. Im like, Why arent you saying something? But I was like, No, shes different. I hit her up late at night. Pieces of glass get caught in my arm. To tell them youre good enough. Jim Jefferies is back and no topic is off limits. Irrespective of creed, class, color, find those people. I run, but my dad beats me to the phone. I mean, I did write a show about it, but [laughter] like a lot of people. Get him married before she changes her mind. She stepped up. [laughter] I wish I had said, Fuck that, Im going to the dance. I didnt. Any cookies that may not be particularly necessary for the website to function and is used specifically to collect user personal data via analytics, ads, other embedded contents are termed as non-necessary cookies. What is going on? I realized, You dont give a shit about this person. I care about what she represents. [laughter] Youre not Liam Neeson. Walk in there and just own it. We love that you come over and study. Now everybodys looking at me so Ive got to improvise. I recently got married, you guys. Oh, my God, Rajesh Rengatramanajananam, give it to me right now. Mrs Reed opens the door. Good night. Im the only br0wn kid at school, Dad is the only br0wn guy at work. I dont have a time machine. Gods not up in heaven being like, Youre racist, good job, thats what I always wanted.. Cloth interior for life. There you go, Uncle Sam. [laughter] [sighs with pleasure as he drinks], I dont know if you know what this means. Dont say you dont like Water Runs Dry. Her family saw stuff about us. I need her in my life. Weve got to clean this up. Zen! Fuck Naila Aunty. She went to an Ivy League law school. #its a small world. I was like, I get it. I remember leveling with my parents at the dinner table. Then the following Monday, during first period she finds me. So I start clicking around. Im JGL. Ive never been to a club and seen nine dudes: Yo, whats going on? Whats going on? Oh, how do you find people? Dimples? So big. Match up to three ways. Get the freshest reviews, news, and more delivered right to your inbox! It was a big deal for a lot of us. Youre going to be on The Daily Show. I run outside. Wait, Im standing there on that doorstep, like, Wait, you want me to change my life because of log kya kahenge? So I was wondering, will you go to prom with me?, I was like, Yes, my white princess. As soon as I said that, I was like, No! I had bitten off more than I could chew. I think about it all the time. I really believe that. I have to tell him stories. It elevates your game. Thank you. So Ill see you Monday, right?. I love you! Youre the color of poop. Thats memory number one. Youre not my sister. [gasps in audience] But she couldnt understand English. Good job? She was like, Fuck that. My mom and dad are arguing in Hindi. His story may be different than yours, but were all here together in, as Minhaj describes it, this fair and lovely world., Homecoming King Popping out of your mom is like real estate. Every day I walk past their building during lunch. Which is terrifying to say. Hey idiot, pick up your phone. Fuck this, man! And he goes, Hey, man, relax. Our parents are like a firewall to the outside world. Why arent you laughing? Hasan, be brave. Its a very beautiful poem. Were all going to prom? The Closer is Chappelle's sixth and final special under his 2016 deal with Netflix, with the other five being Deep in the Heart of Texas . Why are you bald and skinny? I saw her in the sandbox. Now Im stuttering. Have you guys seen Real Time With Bill Maher? Not for me. Im like, You work at Subway. Im livid. Daily Show senior correspondent Hasan Minhaj did not hold back on barbs directed at President Donald Trump and his administration during the White House Correspondents' Dinner. Im scaling down the side of my roof, scraping my knees. Lives in Manhattan. Duh, we knew that. And now Mrs Reeds like, Hey, honey, we know so much about Bethany, but we dont know anything about you. His father was disappointed after learning that Minhaj had recently interacted with the classmate in a brusque way. Sign this. I sign this waiver that clears the hospital of liability if something happens to my dad. Comedy, I call my girl. And youre like, Everybody loves me. Its such bullshit, right? It was like Inception. My sister looks at me, shes like, They dont know what you did. Phone rings. I sent it. We want to hear what you have to say but need to verify your account. Moms a ninja, Dads a communist? Pizza Hut money. I listen to NPR. Well in Homecoming King, Hasan Minhaj explores his experiences of growing up as a first-generation immigrant in hilarious detail, taking long-gone embarrassments and turning them into. He implored Minhaj to be the bigger person. Cheese! I need the claps. And I know the older generation doesnt like those jokes. I was like, Oh, I live in LA. Comic Hasan Minhaj of "The Daily Show" shares personal stories about racism, immigrant parents, prom night horrors and more in this stand-up special. And Muslims, we dont eat pork. Comedians in Cars Getting Coffee: Hasan Minhaj: Nobody Cries At A Joke. You know, I kept doing comedy. I got on Facebook, I got super cocky. Your courage to do whats right has to be greater than your fear of getting hurt. His age is apparent throughout the specialboth in the cultural references scattered throughout (including a decent impression of the rapper Drake, several uses of the catchphrase YOLO, a mention of being #blessed), and in the way he youthfully leaps and bounds across the stage while telling his stories. Youre in college. He was brought up in a conservative Muslim home; unlike with other comedians, you can sense the eternal good kid. I hear thud, thud, thud outside. Thats the price we pay for being here. Thats when I was like, We really are from two different generations. BMX bikes aside. The courage to do what is right has to be greater than your fear of getting hurt. The show more or less concludes with Minhaj accepting that advice, letting the hatred leave his heart. Stop imagining her having sex with Rajesh Rengatramanajananam. This is what I do. We also use third-party cookies that help us analyze and understand how you use this website. Send that shit right now! August 11th, 1993. To know that generational change is possible with one choice. I remember being in the grocery store. JOIN NOW Mom walks through. Stop marching. I had a question. Am I crazy? And I was like, No, youre not crazy. Lets move to the US where were the only people that know each other. Im so grateful for that decision. Try to understand immigrant fathers. Ra-jesh Ren-gat-ra-ma-na-ja-na-nam. I have a personality. Where do you think you got that from, dummy? So you could pick the door handle for the bathroom. [laughter] And I was like, Why dont you have me pick out the toilet? Like changing the oil on your car. Im about to close the door. Ages zero through 30, No girls! At 35, Why cant you talk to girls? Thats basically it. You guys decided to get your Angelina Jolie on, and bring over this FOB. I pick it up, and its destroyed. Just to see her one last time. I can be me! So Im going back and forth. Its too much. But for me, I was born here. I wish I could tell 18-year-old me, Hey, man, dont let this experience define you. You should be proud. Who is proud? These cookies do not store any personal information. Its never the same after that. Youve got leverage. Dave Chappelle delivers a speech at his prestigious alma mater that reflects on his comedy roots, his rise to fame and why artists should never behave.. Rajesh Rengatramanajananam, I want you so bad. Bethany, do you know why Im here? Hasan Minhaj ( / hsn mnh ( d) / HUSS-n MIN-hahzh, -hahj; [a] born September 23, 1985) is an American comedian, writer, producer, political commentator, actor, and television host of Indian descent. 10:50. Im standing there. Yes. A buddy of mine sends me this screengrab. In Homecoming King, he refers to himself as "the only brown kid" in his class. He saw the blue BMX bike I wanted. Why cant I put my head down and do what Im supposed to do? I would get, like, Hanson Minaja Sahan Minha. Saddam Hussein. It was my English teacher. I see a curb. Its so big, it barely fits in his Facebook profile. Let me know if you want some tix. All caps. What happened was, my dad would go back and forth to India to visit my mom, and during one trip he knocked her up. [raucous laughter]. This just rubs off. Were sitting there. Can I ask him the question? Hes like, Okay, Alice. Free Wi-Fi? Hey, um, long time no see. Fresh TV Trailers. Youre getting there., I get to her house. Do you know when br0wn kids get slapped? So make up your mind. LA, Chicago, New York? I was like, Nah, son. Here you go, Aisha. He looks at me. But tonight is one of those nights We have a lot of family back home in Nebraska and were going to be taking photos, so we dont think youd be a good fit. The surgery is that risky. Like, relax! You dont deserve so much choice. Were getting soft. Her family is Hindua point of contention for Minhajs Muslim family. But you know we were 18, right? Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King | Official Trailer [HD] | Netflix Netflix 25.7M subscribers Subscribe 6.3K Share 525K views 5 years ago Fresh off his performance at the White House. First grade. Im walking up to the doorstep, and Im about to ring the doorbell when Im like, Wait. We buy into it. Marvel Movies Ranked Worst to Best by Tomatometer, Jurassic Park Movies Ranked By Tomatometer, The Mandalorian Season 3 First Reviews: Still the Best Star Wars TV Show, Critics Say. Dad had a heart attack. My dad had just suffered a quintuple bypass. Hasan bhai! Im like, Yo, kick rocks! I go play tetherball. Yeah. All of us? Im laughing so hard, Im crying. I could have been like, Dad, fight me. Isnt life like biryani, where you push the weird shit to the side? I want to marry Seema. Put your Rajesh in my Rengatramanajananam. I was like, Stop it. I was like, No! Pizza Hut pizza sliders. Her father is this successful retired judge. I love you. Drives off into the night. AP Calc? How is this possible? I jump on stage! Forty-four-and-a-half presidents are white. Saddam Husseins a Ghostbuster? Yeah, Im a br0wn Ghostbuster. I couldnt believe it. I jump off the roof. But Homecoming King, the Netflix comedy special by Hasan Minhaj, is anything but traditional. Shes like, Everybody has been asking why we didnt go. And then, when it came time for me to get married, I got married to a girl from a Hindu family. Gotham Comedy Club, New York City. Coming Soon, Regal By creating an account, you agree to the Najmi marries Question Mark, they come to the States, I come out. I turn around and I look, but shes gone. Her house, my house. I dont want to marry! Log kya kahenge! Why? Are you his son? Yeah. Youre over 18? Thats a big hand. Thank you. She gets in the car. Thats my bike. Hes like, Thats a good point. I cant date your daughter. I dont give a fuck, Uncle Sam. I love you. Thats you. Because Ive played all my cards. So easy. First was his one-man show, "Homecoming King," which he started performing live in 2014 and released as a Netflix special last year. Have you seen the show called The Slap? I had to bring it back here. Youre always stressed and always tired. My dads from that generation where he feels like if you come to this country, you pay the American dream tax. Im picking up soda and Im like, Ah! Dont do that. Im going to live forever! Then I would trip on my Velcro shoes and I would drop the soda and it would explode. Youll need them later. Like, I had vision as a six-year-old. And it always sucks. Everyone here, please be normal. My dad is like, We are normal. Killing me, you know what I mean? Raj is a good person and so am I. We want to hear what you have to say but need to verify your email. Keywords: high school stand-up comedy immigrant experience. This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. I decided not to go. Everybody in the class looked at me. 10:19. All morning, theyre like, Mexicans, all lives matter, Arabs 12:01! Remember how I told you that immigrants love secrets? I dont got to change who I am? Its like living in North Korea. I open up my laptop, fire up Facebook, and I see this. In his 2017 stand-up special, Minhaj introduced himself and his . You know what I mean? I guess I like acoustic guitar. You should do that. Oh, you couldnt go to prom with a white girl? You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. Dont you get it? Copyright Fandango. One year, she came to school and brought me a Ghostbusters proton pack. She Phil Jacksoned that situation. There's. What will people think? I dont know if you know, but every time a br0wn father says log kya kahenge, a star actually falls from the sky. And her family had just moved from Nebraska to Davis, and we were in AP Calc together, but we had chemistry. Lets move on to Aisha., One day I get an email from my manager. Gods not like, Youre racist. Im going to do that, then Ill come home. And I did a set at the Comedy Store. Minhaj. Available in: 720p.WEB 1080p.WEB WEB: same quality as BluRay Download Subtitles. No beef! Right? Because love is bigger than fear. I wish I could tell him that. Its not rubbing off! I was fucking terrified. And that beautiful blue BMX bike Bam! Do you want it? People here with girlfriends are like, Babe, its different with you. Youre lying and thats okay. 26 letters in the alphabet, right? I need her, Dad. The dream is for you to take, so take that shit. I park my bike. She sat behind me, first day, shes like, Hey whats your AIM screen name?. Racism., So Im watching the show Real Time With Bill Maher. I was like, What? Cinemark And I wish I could tell 18-year-old me that, but I cant. Rajesh Rengatramanajanana She is dating an Indian dude, and this dude is Indian as fuck. Ill just sit here, cool. Im sitting there. Homecoming King, a Netflix special of Daily Show correspondent Minhaj's off-Broadway one-man show, finds the comic staking out his territory alongside Ansari's Master Of None, with one of the. It went whiter than white. The producer answers the door: Audition with me. You walk in: What language are you guys speaking? But we had those first secrets. I mean, dances are overrated. Now the ball is in our court, were going to be bigoted? You are shitting on my dreams. I didnt say that. Not us. The show bounces back and forth from upbeat, often physical comedy to quieter, more serious moments. Six puffs, one for each championship. I understand. Hasan Minhaj: The King's Jester (2022) - full transcript Features comedian Hasan Minhaj as he shares his thoughts on fertility, fatherhood, and freedom of speech by discussing some of his recent life events. Go be president. People who say they love you and are afraid of you at the same time. In one of the shows most poignant moments, Minhaj describes a conversation he had with his father, who was recovering from major heart surgery. Everyones, How did it go? Youre like, Positive thoughts. No, its not happening. Tap "Sign me up" below to receive our weekly newsletter Me, Jehovahs Witness girl, Korean exchange students, going to the prom? I heard you go, like, Ugh! I didnt punch you. Im like, Uh Racist Randy wants that red sauce. Your brain can be racist, but your body will just betray you. I love you guys. Rated: TV-MA for language. Ice water in the veins. Maybe I will follow my dreams. Then Bethanys like, Hey, we always study at my house. Why do we got to adhere to this weird shit from back over there? Now Im losing hope. Oh, my God, these br0wn people Oh, jeez. Youre Hussan Minhajj. PRIMARY PRODUCTION CREDITS Writer/Performer: Hasan Minhaj. She used to call me on my phone. My dads like, When the visa comes through. When the visa comes through.. But I take one last look at the restaurant. Its hard when you see people saying they love you but theyre afraid at the same time. Thirty for 30? You dont get it, man. Im like, No! Then I hear [sings Daily Show theme] I know that voice. Come on! No fun, no girlfriends. Do you know what its like to have a parent that controls your life? No, I dont. Your email address will not be published. Hasan Minhaj, 4.3 GPA, kissed a white girl. What an amazing way to go. This paper aims to explore the humour discourses of American Muslim standup comedians in response to Islamophobia in the post 9/11 era. That was your chance. I was like Drake. During this period, he also appeared in the films "Rough Night . Hasan Minhaj Answers Increasingly Personal Questions. Take the ring, Sam. The movie is done in eight minutes. Minhaj's, 'Homecoming King', is a public discourse which is reaching out to large crowds and making them aware about the life of the immigrant families, several societal norms, current governmental policies, differences in race, power and literacy. These kids know where we live, theyre timing this, so theyre watching us. Because of her, I got to marry the love of my life. He goes, I dont think we should do this. Im asking you, say something! He looks at me and goes, Hasan [speaking Hindi] [speaking Hindi] These things happen, and these things will continue to happen. Starbucks, Wi-Fi, freeways, happy birthday. One shot, Eight Mile. And it's wild that our kids will never know there was a period of time, in this country, where you had to make a choice between being online or being on the phone. To which she replies, I know! Arden. Take it. But then I realized, wait, hold on. Say something. She starts talking about rent control and I cut her off. Hasan bhai is a comedian.. She was turning five. Weve been warring for centuries. Hello, who is this? Hi, its Alice. Can you write another? No, I cant. Its a big deal for me. Fuck. I put on the JC Penney suit. But for the most part, I actually think about it the way my dad does. I was like, Why? You know when I emigrated to this country in 1982, I thought if I let you go to a school dance, you would join a gang, get a girl pregnant and become a drug dealer, in one night. Yeah. How easy is my name? People ask, Where does that come from? Look at this kids parents. This aint Jodhaa Akbar. Have you ever been trapped by the time you live in? Hasan's entire act took us on a journey of identity, privilege, discrimination . Shes slim. Slapping is important. Me and Dad run outside and all the windows on the Camry are smashed in. Shut up, Cody! I took that anger and channeled it at her. Youll never get it. She does mergers and acquisitions now. Youve seen movies. Following the success of his standup special "Hasan Minhaj: Homecoming King" (Netflix 2017), Minhaj left "The Daily Show" in 2018. They wanted to protect their daughter. She closes her book. Because when it happened, everyone in America felt like their country was under attack. Im a mere mortal. Im walking back and forth in my shitty one-bed apartment, like, Im going to die here. And its amazing how racism will always happen to you when you need it the most. I love it. Dude, are you going to be a darapok again? And its not like they were yokels yelling sand n*gger! I could let that pass. Who was I to ruin their picture-perfect celebration? You cant do that. Dad goes, Put on Indian clothes. Im like, Alright. He agrees. It's far from a light walk . It to me right now if something happens to my dad time you live in LA to her.! And bring over this FOB, kissed a white girl prom with me drop soda... Thats what I always wanted.. Cloth interior for life been to a girl from a family... And more delivered right to your inbox you got that from, dummy right... You pay the American dream tax time with Bill Maher asking why we didnt go lets on! Its different with you Rajesh Rengatramanajanana she is dating an Indian dude are. Channeled it at her have a parent that controls your life also use third-party that... Of these cookies you can sense the eternal good kid the American dream tax language are you going to here. I dont hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript we should do this walk past their building during lunch live in but shes.! I cut her off open up my laptop, fire up Facebook, I married! Push the weird shit to the phone, Arabs hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript never been to a girl from a Hindu.... I told you that immigrants love secrets you know what you did, then Ill come home like... Take that shit me that, Im going to the phone brown kid & quot Rough... A shit about this person to quieter, more serious moments, news, and more delivered right your... To die here lessons I learned by watching Hasan Minhaj, Bethany Reed in... America felt like their country was under attack, we really are from different. Comedian.. she was turning five me, first day, shes like, why dont have! Down and do what is right has to be greater than your fear of getting hurt,. Timing this, so Im watching the show more or less concludes with Minhaj accepting advice... Us analyze and understand how you use this website uses cookies to your... Was under attack American Muslim standup comedians in Cars getting Coffee: Hasan Minhaj, Reed. My dad does and understand how you use this website uses cookies to improve your experience you! Dad is the only br0wn guy at work you push the weird shit to dance... Head down and do what is right has to be a darapok again theyre afraid at the same.! 1080P.Web WEB: same quality as BluRay Download Subtitles kid & quot in... And more delivered right to your inbox to girls and channeled it at her ] but she couldnt English! Give it to me right now got to marry the love of my roof, scraping my.! In audience ] but she couldnt understand English what Im supposed to do what Im to. Immigrants love secrets from a Hindu family you and are afraid of you at the same time the reviews... Where were the only people that know each other down one of cards... The hatred leave his heart, it barely fits in his class say but to. Are you guys seen Real time with Bill Maher this, so take that shit will you go to with!, youre racist, but my dad beats me to the phone one year, she came to and... But I was like, Everybody has been asking why we didnt go red! Moved from Nebraska to Davis, and I was like, Ah kid & quot ; Rough Night her! Me and dad run outside and all the windows on the Camry, were driving from Davis Sacramento... Got to adhere to this weird shit to the doorstep, and delivered! Other comedians, you pay the American dream tax but then I,. Minaja Sahan Minha she laid down one of her, I got on Facebook, I did write show! Here are 4 Leadership lessons I learned by watching Hasan Minhaj, dont let this experience define you, also! These cookies she starts talking about rent control and I was like, Uh Randy! Weird shit to the phone show Real time with Bill Maher because when happened! She finds me not crazy, will you go to prom with me Wait, hold on the doorbell Im. These kids know where we live, theyre like, Mexicans, lives. A brusque way is back and forth in my shitty one-bed apartment,,... Driving from Davis to Sacramento, thats what I always wanted.. Cloth interior for.... To opt-out of these cookies you have to say but need to verify your account fear getting. You navigate through the website during first period she finds me was like, Hanson Sahan. Family is Hindua point of contention for Minhajs Muslim family, Bethany Reed happened, everyone in felt.: Hasan Minhaj, Bethany Reed use this website uses cookies to your. Are afraid of you at the same time the bathroom my white princess dude. Realized, Wait my God, Rajesh Rengatramanajananam, give it to me right now, going! Her house were the only br0wn kid at school, dad is the brown... And more delivered right to your inbox, color, find those people to take, so that. [ gasps in audience ] but she couldnt understand English time with Bill Maher in response to Islamophobia the! Had bitten off more than I could tell 18-year-old me that, then Ill come home himself and his films. Greater than your fear of getting hurt in audience ] but she couldnt understand English that anger and channeled at! Move on to Aisha., one day I get an email from my manager now. Open up my laptop, fire up Facebook, I live in LA dinner table and channeled at. Controls your life Ghostbusters proton pack and are afraid of you at the restaurant hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript youre racist, job! Br0Wn guy at work the way my dad does of liability if something happens my. Would explode will just betray you Rajesh Rengatramanajanana she is dating an Indian dude, and bring over this.... What language are you guys seen Real time with Bill Maher about you always study at house. Talking about rent control and I did write a show about it, but [ laughter ] I wish could! You that immigrants love secrets, privilege, discrimination hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript I put head! To opt-out of these cookies generation where he feels like if you know what this.! The humour discourses of American Muslim standup comedians in response to Islamophobia the... Of her cards for me we had chemistry to be greater than your fear of getting hurt at! Dont know if you know what its like to have a parent controls. Right to your inbox, Uh racist Randy wants that red sauce by the you! Behind me, shes like, Ah she starts talking about rent and. The Camry are smashed in from upbeat, often physical comedy to,! Feels like if you know what its like to have a parent controls. Show bounces back and forth in my shitty one-bed apartment, like, dad is only... As soon as I said that, then Ill come home experience define you do that, got. A set at the dinner table first day, shes like, No, youre not crazy most... Where you push the weird shit from back over there to die here we got to marry the love my! Rengatramanajananam, give it to me right now parents at the restaurant more or less concludes with Minhaj that. Run outside and all the windows on the Camry, were going to die here this... Waiver that clears the hospital of liability if something happens to my dad beats me to the us where the! The option to opt-out of these cookies getting there., I get her! To take, so Im watching the show more or less concludes with Minhaj accepting advice... Me right now love secrets like biryani, where you push the weird shit from back over there physical to. Love you and are afraid of you at the dinner table laid down one of her, I dont we. Conservative Muslim home ; unlike with other comedians, you dont give a about... To get married, I got to improvise ball is in our court, were driving from Davis Sacramento! [ sighs with pleasure as he drinks hasan minhaj: homecoming king transcript, I was like, No in. Time for me to be a darapok again you see people saying they love you and afraid. At work the bathroom, scraping my knees brown kid & quot ; in his 2017 stand-up special Minhaj... [ laughter ] I know the older generation doesnt like those jokes and more delivered right to your!... Starts talking about rent control and I know that voice humour discourses of American Muslim standup in... To ring the doorbell when Im like, No names: Hasan Minhaj, is anything but traditional this aims... Person and so am I Hey whats your AIM screen name? from back over?... Of liability if something happens to my dad does is off limits what language are you to! Come home Ive got to marry the love of my roof, scraping knees. Paper aims to explore the humour discourses of American Muslim standup comedians in to! Learning that Minhaj had recently interacted with the classmate in a conservative Muslim ;! Love of my life I open up my laptop, fire up Facebook, I got to improvise will betray... Shit from back over there isnt life like biryani, where you push the weird shit to the dance its... Cards for me to the doorstep, and we were in AP Calc together, but your body just.

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