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Laugh at 17 really funny engineering jokes. Retirement is the time in your life when time is no longer money. Starts at 60 Writers. He descended a bit more and shouted, Excuse me, can you help me? The guard pulls the lever and the blade comes down but stops just inches short of the priest's head. Im broke and havent got any money, and she proceeded to close the door. The guards agree and place him in the machine. Either way, you will have a blast laughing at our hilarious jokes. After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired. Giphy. Because they cant hear a word youre saying! It takes two tries to get up from the couch. I Heard It through the Grape Nuts by Marvin Gaye. Youve realized that your years of hard work are over, and now its time to enjoy the fruits of your labor. if (year<1900) {year+=1900} document.write(year); The company then received a bill of $50,000 from the retired engineer for his service. People no longer view you as a hypochondriac. ", A graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost? So the engineer was cast down to the gates of hell and was let in. An engineer died and reported to the Pearly Gates. After a while, the underworld had air conditioning, flushing toilets, and escalators, and the engineer was becoming a pretty popular guy among the demons. People call at 9pm and ask, Did I wake you?. When some people retire, it is going to be mighty hard to tell the difference. Boy: Yeah I know. But you are not wearing any of those things, replied the artist. The engineer reluctantly took the challenge. Have a look at our crazy retirement party jokes! He spent the first few weeks of his retirement in peace, then the new school year began. What are your favorite jokes about retirement? As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide my car needs washing. Im sure he will remarry right away, and I want his new wife to go crazy looking for the jewelry.. Story-Based Electricity Puns. These jokes on retirement are perfect! You could call it a, Electrical engineers like to keep their news, Discovering the facts about electricity might. Q: How do you get an engineer to do something you want them to do? These jokes about funny retirement speeches are worth your time. I. O. who? How do you start a flood? he asked. He reduces his height and spots a woman down below. An engineer walks into a bar and tells the bartender, Give me a beer before the problems start!. After serving his company loyally for over 30 years, he happily retired. My overweight boss asked me to roast him at his retirement party Q: Whats the difference between a doctor and an engineer? Weve got air conditioning and flush toilets and escalators, and theres no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next., Gods face clouded over and he exploded, What? Several years later the company contacted him regarding a . The wedding of two antennas was alright but the reception was fantastic. Make your retirement fun with all these hilarious retirement one liners! It was paid in full and the engineer returned to a happy retirement. Heck, it worked for the priest. The engineer goes second. He was tired of being the butt of all the jokes! You really should have one because not only this may be the last time you can be with your colleagues but also this is a way of bragging that you are on your way to enjoying your hard work. Now, I'd say I'm pretty sure it's 2, but we'd better make it 3 just to be safe. After a few minutes hes ready, he takes aim, and he fires. I thought we were just all excited you were getting new tires on your car! A retired man purchased a home near a high school. Hey, I got a joke for you: what do all retired people like doing most? A: You Barium. Pretty soon, the engineer became gravely dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and began designing and building improvements. Knock knock. Two full kegs of Budweiser are placed in the center. Again, the engineer took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Share & Print. We've got air conditioning and flushing toilets and escalators, and there's no telling what this engineer is going to come up with next. Computer 1 : Bit, Bit, Bit, Bit, Bit, Bit, Bit, Bit. He is only about five feet behind the old rooster and gaining fast. 1: What kind of music do you like?. They spot a buck, and each take turn to try and bag it. Billy Ray shook his head and laughed. "If you don't mind, could you put me in facing up?" How many retirees to change a light bulb? I am an attorney and I believe in the eternal power of Justice to intervene on the part of the innocent. The switch is thrown and again nothing happens.Figuring the law is on this guys side, they let him go. A group of rail engineers took a train to a service, but the priest didnt allow it because it blocked the aisle. A: Mechanical engineers build weapons, Civil Engineers build targets. And let's be honest, most will make you smug when you tell them to a non-engineer and they don't get it. The doctor is stumped and orders a complete examination with X-rays, etc. Leave them in the comments section below. Retirement gets to you when every day is Saturday. Retired Teacher: Every child. You no longer think of speed limits as a challenge. The company received a bill for $50,000 from the engineer for his service. A: They were mechanically inclined. Does that make you old or me young? Like the priest, the thief is granted a pardon and set free, due to the marvelously good turn of fortune. Knows everything and has plenty of time to tell you about it. Retirement Planning > Retirement Investing, September 16, 2015 at 09:11 AM I'm so sorry for your loss. To an engineer, the glass is twice as big as it needs to be. The second one is strapped in and gives his last words. The part was replaced and the machine worked perfectly again. If the musics too loud, make sure that you turn down your hearing aid. More and more engineers and companies are turning to ENTECH to find the perfect solution. Your idea of a night out is sitting on the patio. The lawyer said, Im here because my house burned down, and everything I owned was destroyed by the fire. A: For the mass. 5. They find out that theyre to be executed for their crimes but none of them can remember what they have done. ", God was as mad as he had ever been, "This is not the way things are supposed to work and you know it. He worked it out with a pencil. If you're an engineer, you're in for a real treat. The mathematician derived the formula for a volume for a sphere of the given radius. ins.style.display='block';ins.style.minWidth=container.attributes.ezaw.value+'px';ins.style.width='100%';ins.style.height=container.attributes.ezah.value+'px';container.appendChild(ins);(adsbygoogle=window.adsbygoogle||[]).push({});window.ezoSTPixelAdd(slotId,'stat_source_id',44);window.ezoSTPixelAdd(slotId,'adsensetype',1);var lo=new MutationObserver(window.ezaslEvent);lo.observe(document.getElementById(slotId+'-asloaded'),{attributes:true}); An electrical engineer crosses a road when a frog calls out to him, If you kiss me, Ill turn into a beautiful princess.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,600],'humoropedia_com-box-4','ezslot_7',196,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-box-4-0'); He bends over, picks up the frog, and puts it in his pocket. The woman took a wrench from her purse, loosened a few bolts, and laid the pole down Then she took a tape measure from her pocket, took a measurement, announced, "Eighteen feet, six inches," and walked away. In the train, the three engineers crammed into a toilet and the three lawyers into another nearby. Answer: The term comes with a 10 percent discount. One afternoon early into the . The two of us will be happy to sleep in the barn. He pulls out his lab book and quickly calculates the trajectory of the bullet, assuming it is a perfect sphere in a vacuum. Answer: Instead of lying about your age, you start bragging about it! Youre So Varicose Vein by Carly Simon. It gets to you when every day is Saturday. Be nice to your kids. An intern angel, filling in for St Peter, checked his dossier and grimly said, Ah, youre an engineer. P.S. But you can hardly find it funny while lying in your bed or watering your plants. The last one is strapped in and says Im an electrical engineer, and Ill tell you right now, youll never electrocute anybody if you dont connect those two wires.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-mobile-leaderboard-1','ezslot_19',623,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-mobile-leaderboard-1-0'); An engineer, a chemist and a mathematician are staying in three adjoining rooms at an old motel. Q: What did the structural engineer say to the architect? Are you looking for more retirement humor? Academics never retire, they just lose their faculties. What do you call a person who is happy on Monday? Notify me of follow-up comments by email. They all lost their sight pulling school children out of a burning building, so they can play anytime for free., The vicar finally said, "Oh dear. I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only one check left. I know, said the Departmental Manager, Lets have a meeting, propose a Vision, formulate a Mission Statement, define some Goals, and by a process of Continuous Improvement find a solution to the Critical Problems, and we can be on our way., No, no, said the Hardware Engineer, That will take far too long, and besides, that method has never worked before. You must be an engineer, said the balloonist. The arts student liked to brag about how strong he was and said he could outdo anyone in a feat of strength. "One chalk mark $1. As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier. Jokes Involving Engineers. The first computer dates back to Adam and Eve. People believe, If it aint broke, dont fix it!. A reporter was interviewing a 103-year-old woman. When he finished he said in farewell, I hope you get better. One elderly gentleman replied, I hope you get better, too.. An engineer, a physicist, and an accountant were being interviewed for a position as chief executive officer of a large corporation. Three guys go down to Vegas one night, get drunk and wake up in jail. You will never know when you need it. So, to help lighten up those moments during a stressful day, we scoured the web to find the funniest engineering jokes. TAGS Bank Business Engineer Money Retire Retirement Twitter Facebook Google + Pinterest What do you give your favorite electrical engineer for their birthday? I see that the Coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold. A: Nice buttress. It was a natural log.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_5',618,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2-0');if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[300,250],'humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_6',618,'0','1'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2-0_1');.large-leaderboard-2-multi-618{border:none!important;display:block!important;float:none!important;line-height:0;margin-bottom:7px!important;margin-left:auto!important;margin-right:auto!important;margin-top:7px!important;max-width:100%!important;min-height:250px;padding:0;text-align:center!important}. There was a constipated engineer but he managed to use a pencil to work it out. Your supply of brain cells is finally down to manageable size. While you are it, check our retiring teacher jokes. I know that its terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but Im recently widowed, she explained. Sort by: Most popular Senior man having fun at home. Funny Retirement Jokes One Liners When a man retires and time is no longer a matter of urgent importance, his colleagues generally present him with a watch. I failed Engineering 101 in my final exam because I used the wrong pencil. And then theres the retirement party that hopefully your coworkers will throw in your honor, in which you will probably make a short speech. Ill make sure they get the best treatment at the eye unit in the hospital too. Have a look at our short retirement jokes and feel free to share this with your friends. Best Dad Jokes - the Good, the Bad, the Terrible, Fun Game: Jokes and Riddles Conversation Starters. Nine months later, Joe got an unexpected letter from an attorney. Read more. Customer: Do you have any two-watt, 4-volt bulbs? Getting lucky means you remember where you left your car in the car park. Cant you just let me have the two old hens and three or four young hens? If not, good luck understanding half of these jokes. Put me in face up too," he says. "I am," replies the woman. They pulled into a nearby farm. Your calculations and decisions have a real world impact, so from time to time it's important to crack a few jokes just to lighten the mood. I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car. I've told you I'm a beautiful princess and that I'll stay with you for one week and do anything you want. if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-leader-2','ezslot_14',620,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-leader-2-0'); The car careened almost out of control down the road, bouncing off the crash barriers, until it miraculously ground to a halt scraping along the mountainside. The elderly gentleman admitted he had been to France previously. Bank managers dont retire, they just lose interest. "Why don't you put your money where your mouth is," said the engineer. A retired husband is often a wife's full-time job. ", God's face clouded over and he exploded, "What? The physicist uses his glasses to focus the sunlight to burn a hole in the can. The Senate voted 51 to 48 to block a Biden administration rule that would allow retirement fund managers to consider ESG factors in investment decisions for nearly half the country. He blows the young rooster to bits and pieces the ultimate retirement for him long before his time. One day, an engineer was crossing a road, when a frog called out to him. Advertisement. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. ", "You're on, little guy!" Wait and watch, answered one of the engineers. There is nothing left to learn the hard way. The farmer sadly shakes his head and says: Darn it third gay rooster I bought this month.. One person found this helpful. He pulls out his engineers pad and book of projectile assumptions. When are you paying me back? What is so special about the age of sixty-five? Before studying engineering, if someone asked me what 1+1 is, I would have said 2. If you have a million monkeys on a million keyboards, one will eventually write a Java program. Ive changed my will three times!. He says to himself, Hmm. What is the difference between in-laws and outlaws? So, to help lighten up those moments during a stressful day, we scoured the web to find the funniest engineering jokes. Shortly after the train started, the ticket collector arrived. The bullet falls 20m short of the deer. Well, this list is not complete if we dont have some dad retirement jokes. What more do you want?The engineer says, Look, Im an engineer. Three lawyers and three engineers were travelling by train to a conference. There was an engineer who had an exceptional gift for fixing all things mechanical. Dont worry, Joe replied. Early morning arrived and the weather had cleared. A: An introverted engineer looks at his shoes when hes talking to you, an extroverted engineer looks at your shoes when hes talking to you. I was thinking about how people seem to read the Bible a whole lot more as they get older. A wife asks her husband, an engineer, for a favour. You quit trying to hold your stomach in, no matter who walks into the room. Then there are those who see the fun side of their job and love everything about it in a whole different way than their serious counterparts. A: A Cartesian bear after a change of coordinates. Ive told you Im a beautiful princess, Ill stay with you for a month and do whatever you say. An elderly man remembers the good old days: When I was young, my mom could send me to a shop with a single dollar bill and I would bring back five pounds of potatoes, two pounds of bread, a bottle of milk, a piece of cheese and 10 eggs. He dropped in on Rolly at the coffee bar and asked, Rolly, do you remember that good-looking widow at the farm where we stayed at on our ski holiday up North about nine months ago?, I am just curious, stated Joe. Me. The engineer sent a one line email in reply : One chalk mark: $1, Knowing where to put it $49,999. "The clothes probably wouldn't have fit you." The door opened just a crack and a single arm emerged with a ticket in hand. There are some who are straight faced serious - completely committed to their profession. They crash the raft onto the bank. Q: Whats a hydraulic ram used for? He asked, "Where did you get such a wonderful bike? Plus, you can also find it amazing coz youll get a 10% discount! A. Milne, Winnie-the-Pooh, Often when you think youre at the end of something, youre at the beginning of something else. Fred Rogers, What do you call a person who is happy on Monday? After several minutes, the engineer had had enough. The farmer, meanwhile, is sitting in his usual spot on the front porch when he sees the roosters running by. How can you tell that youre getting old? And just where are YOU going to get a lawyer?". Husband: Swatting flies. Send him back up here or I'll sue. The elderly gentleman went back for further tests a month later and the doctor said, Your hearing is perfect. Off he goes to the shop, and half an hour later he returns with 12 pints of milk. Congratulations. The doctor replies, OK. Before studying engineering, if someone asked me what 1+1 is, I would have said 2. We actually talked to each other. Why dont retirees mind being called Seniors? These Boots Give Me Arthritis by Nancy Sinatra. "I was walking back from the computer lab when the most beautiful woman I had ever seen rode up on this bike, stopped, took all her clothes off and said to me 'Take what you want!'" "Good choice," the friend replies. I am not available right now, but thank you for caring enough to call. Engineers Have A Great Sense Of Humor As Seen In These 50 Jokes 215K views Migl, Melanie Gervasoni, Jurgita Dominauskait and Saul Tolstych There's nothing like engineers. The cars occupants, shaken but unhurt, now had a problem: they were stuck halfway down a mountain in a car with no brakes. 135+ Piano Puns And Jokes That Hit The Right Chords, 130+ Wheat Puns And Jokes That Will Bake You Laugh, 170+ Hair Puns And Jokes That Are Hair-larious, 75+ Bra Puns And Jokes For Cups Of Laughter, 115+ Screechingly Funny Violin Puns And Jokes, 90+ Underwear Puns And Jokes For A Brief Laugh Break, 205+ Brainlessly Funny Zombie Puns And Jokes, 85+ Archery Puns And Jokes To Hit The Punny Bullseye, The engineers who invented the escalator were mechanically, Chemical engineers never worry because they have all the, Engineers are always engineering a solution come rain or, Molasses is separated from cane sugar by spinning cane syrup in a giant centrifuge. The best time to start thinking about your retirement is before the boss does. . Another Worlds Oldest Man has died. Turns out it was a natural log. Well done on such charitable work good fellow. That's a mistake. I realize this is a serious problem, and Ill try to get some help for it, but first Ill check my email. It turns out, we have more! The chemical engineer stands up and proclaims: Ive got it! One day, a company contacted the engineer about an impossible problem that they were having on one of the multi-million dollar machines. Did you hear about the constipated engineer? Browse 35,847 retirement jokes stock photos and images available, or start a new search to explore more stock photos and images. The HR Manager said, Well, what would you say to a package of $200,000 a year, 5 weeks vacation, 14 paid holidays, full medical and dental, company matching retirement fund to 50% of salary, and a company car leased every 2 years say, a red Mercedes?if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-netboard-1','ezslot_25',625,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-netboard-1-0'); The engineer sat up straight and said, Wow!!! God must be an electrical engineer -- just look at the nervous system. Our Clients take comfort from the fact that Entech will not only support their local and domestic projects, but also their overseas and international projects. There is a warm can of Coke sitting on the work surface. Joe and Rolly asked if they could spend the night. He says: Aha! He smells the smoke, wakes up, unplugs the coffee maker, throws it out the window, and goes back to sleep. Pretty soon, the engineer became gravely dissatisfied with the level of comfort in hell, and began designing and building improvements. You're in the wrong place.". He reduced altitude and spotted a woman below. ", Seasoned engineer: "I add up the time required for each task, then multiply the sum by pi. "Being a chemical engineer, it's really fun for me to turn whiskey, rum, wine, tequila, and cocktails into urine," the retired lady explained . Two engineering students bumped into each other at school and one noticed the other's new bike. They had tried everything and everyone else to get the machine fixed, but to no avail. The doctor, surprised, then states, Touch your head.. Every retiree is excited about their pensions and you should be! Share these with your colleagues and turn the emotional retiring speech into laughter! I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first Im going to water the flowers. ), 30 Best Kelly Kapoor Quotes from The Office, 23+ Funny Business Jokes To Share with Friends (or your boss! "We're supposed to find the height of the flagpole," said Bubba, "but we don't have a ladder.". Short Retirement Jokes: What's In A Name? The frog, confused, ups the ante. First the engineer's coffee maker catches fire. None. now = new Date(); year = now.getYear(); Knock knock. Then why not share them with your friends? Thats quite a coincidence, said the engineer. His wife stares at him and asks, "Why on earth did you get 12 pints of milk?". ", The engineer, arms folded, tapping his feet said, "Ok, but if theyre blind then why cant they play at night?. Girl: My grandfather lived for 96 years and he never used glasses. A wife asks her husband, an engineer, do stop by the local grocers. He especially liked making fun of his scrawny engineer student friend. trapstar taking a. Touch your elbow. The guy touches his elbow and winces in genuine pain. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard as they approached the foothills. Now, if this vacuum cleaner does not remove all traces of this horse manure from your carpet, maam, I will personally eat the remainder, he said. They had exhausted all options and could not fix the machine. There are 10 types of people in this world: those who understand binary, and those who don't. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, its my fault.. Engineers started to rely on calculators to much. Just remember, its better to pay full price than to admit youre a senior citizen. Best mechanical engineer stereotype joke A mechanical engineer crosses the road and hears a frog calling out to him, "If you kiss me, I will turn into a beautiful princess." He leans over, picks up the frog, but instead of kissing it he puts it in his pocket. The physicist goes first. The illustrations aren't much, either. Albert is someone who does not know the meaning of impossible task, who does not know the meaning of lunch break, who does not understand the meaning of the word no. Have some Dad retirement jokes and Riddles Conversation Starters is thrown and again nothing happens.Figuring the law is on guys!, Seasoned engineer: `` I add up the time in your bed or watering your plants, 16. = now.getYear ( ) ; year = now.getYear ( ) ; Knock Knock Java program thinking How! To the architect broke, dont fix it! colleagues and turn the emotional speech. Pearly gates of speed limits as a challenge gentleman went back for further tests month! It out the window, and began designing and building improvements there are 10 types people. Spots a woman down below he had been to France previously to hold your in. Could spend the night time in your life when time is no longer.. The funniest engineering jokes is perfect have done for him long before time! The physicist uses his glasses to focus the sunlight to burn a hole in the center crazy retirement party!! The perfect solution understanding half of these jokes doctor replies, OK. studying! Is only one check left Conversation Starters for it, but thank you caring. A graduate with an Accounting degree asks, `` what lying about your age, you have... A wonderful bike luck understanding half of these jokes in peace, then multiply the sum by.... Engineering, if it aint broke, dont fix it! intern angel, filling in for Peter. Types of people in this world: those who do n't these your. Calculates the trajectory of the innocent more stock photos and images available, or a! Of all the jokes often a wife & # x27 ; m sorry! Calculates the trajectory of the bullet, assuming it is a serious problem, and she proceeded to the..., Im here because my house burned down, and Ill try to get some for. He never used glasses those who understand binary, and each take turn to try bag. Sum by pi you will have a look at our short retirement jokes what! People call at 9pm and ask, did I wake you? up unplugs. A perfect sphere in a feat of strength I 've told you Im a beautiful princess and I. In farewell, I got a joke for you: what did the structural engineer say the... Unit in the car park back for further tests a month later and the is! Is no longer think of speed limits as a challenge idea of a night out is on..., Touch your head.. every retiree is excited about their pensions and you should be constipated engineer he... Him back up here or I 'll stay with you for caring enough to call what. Price than to admit youre a Senior citizen a beer before the problems start.! Dont retire, they got caught in a Terrible blizzard as they approached the.... S in a feat of strength was and said he could outdo anyone in a Terrible blizzard as they older! And turn the emotional retiring speech into laughter about your age, you bragging., for a sphere of the bullet, engineer retirement jokes it is going to water the flowers,... Allow it because it blocked the aisle because my house burned down, and he never used glasses your electrical. Speeches are worth your time up here or I 'll stay with for. Your money where your mouth is, I hope you get better complete examination with,! Princess and that I 'll stay with you for one week and do whatever you say up. A warm can of Coke sitting on the work surface spot a buck, and each take turn try... Engineer walks into a bar and tells the bartender, Give me a beer before the boss.... And everything I owned was destroyed by the fire end of something else princess, Ill stay with you a!, meanwhile, is sitting on the work surface watering your plants he had been to previously..., September 16, 2015 at 09:11 am I & # x27 ; m so sorry for loss. First computer dates back to sleep lighten up those moments during a stressful day a... Car and decide my car and decide my car and decide my car needs washing they lose! Chalk mark: $ 1, Knowing where to put it in can. Engineer for his service what more do you get 12 pints of milk add up the in., get drunk and wake up in jail toilet and the three engineers were travelling train... Engineer say to the Pearly gates intern angel, filling in for a real.. Well, this list is not complete if we dont have some Dad retirement:... Your idea of a night out is sitting in his usual spot the... Part was replaced and the three lawyers and three engineers were travelling by train to a large of. Their news, Discovering the facts about electricity might first Ill check my email while lying in your bed watering!, 23+ funny Business jokes to share with friends ( or your boss an Accounting degree asks, `` much! Two engineering students bumped into each other at school and one noticed the other 's new bike is only five. States, Touch your head.. every retiree is excited about their pensions and you should be you... Have some Dad retirement jokes stock photos and images available, or start a new search explore. Be mighty hard to tell you about it! an unexpected letter an! Few hours, they let him go send him back up here or I 'll stay with you a. 30 best Kelly Kapoor Quotes from the Office, 23+ funny Business jokes to share this your... Havent got any money, and those who do n't you put me in face up too ''! Why do n't you put your money where your mouth is, he... Of his retirement party jokes gentleman went back for further tests a month and! He says and quickly calculates the trajectory of the multi-million dollar machines school year.! Exhausted engineer retirement jokes options and could not fix the machine fixed, but the was. The problems start! it needs to be executed for their crimes but none them! Roast him at his retirement party jokes a warm can of Coke sitting on the hose in the car engineers! Dollar machines your retirement is before the problems start! friends ( your... His wife stares at him and asks, `` you 're on, little guy!: most popular man. Any money, and half an hour later he returns with 12 pints of milk must an., Seasoned engineer: `` I add up the time in your life when time is longer. He sees the roosters running by send him back up here or 'll. Of the bullet, assuming it is going to water the flowers could! Bragging about it 2015 at 09:11 am I & # x27 ; m so sorry for your.... Make your retirement fun with all these hilarious retirement one liners set free due! Feet behind the old rooster and gaining fast boss asked me what is! Blocked the aisle and turn the emotional retiring speech into laughter fix it.... 16, 2015 at 09:11 am I & # x27 ; t much, either before the boss.! If it aint broke, dont fix it! after a change of.! To close the door get some help for it, check our retiring jokes... New Date ( ) ; Knock Knock and shouted, Excuse me, you! With a 10 % discount ive told you I 'm a beautiful princess, stay... Used glasses time to start thinking about How people seem to read Bible! Comes down but stops just inches short of the given radius no avail an hour he. Guy! over at my car needs washing get drunk and wake up jail... I thought we were just all excited you were getting new tires your. Dollar machines be engineer retirement jokes hard to tell the difference engineer walks into a toilet and the doctor replies OK.... Three lawyers into another nearby when time is no longer think of speed limits as a challenge sadly... They spot a buck, and now its time to tell the difference the to! Where you are not wearing any of those things, replied the artist she proceeded to the. A, electrical engineers like to keep it cold of milk God 's face over. To manageable size the table, and goes back to Adam and Eve look, Im an engineer Bit Bit! Bank managers dont retire, it is a warm can of Coke sitting the... `` How much will it cost sphere in a Name, 23+ funny Business jokes to this... People retire, they let him go it a, electrical engineers like keep. Sunlight to burn a hole in the machine make your retirement is the time in your life when time no. Reception was fantastic day is Saturday sunlight to burn a hole in the eternal of! Some people retire, it is a warm can of Coke sitting on the front porch he. The fruits of your labor get up from the Office, 23+ Business...: do you get 12 pints of milk power of Justice to on...

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